Saturday, July 30, 2005

something something

Raphael mentioned that i've lost that 'edge' in me. the melancholia, the bitterness ever since i've got attached. i suppose that's true in some ways. i mean ever since i started this thingamy last year, most of it has been bitter in tone i suppose? i guess that has been and always be my 'trademark' style of blogging? i feel too much and always in the not so optimistic way? i miss those days.. sighz.

i've proudly proclaimed that i've lost the swingin' bachelor life a few posts back, probably .. i know i shouldnt feel this, or say this now, but i suppose the euphoria has swept past? probably what was meant to be broken shouldnt be mended in the first place? and funny thing is... its not even a month.

seeds of doubt and discontent are sowed long ago, but sprouted out again in the face of bliss i suppose? maybe im just not suited to be in a relationship, to be with someone. cos probably i can't give the 100% i know i have to give. to be totally committed. im not talking about infidelity. but to be totally head over heels in LOVE with her. something in my system is preventing it from happening. i know im being a typical SELFISH BASTARD in witholding my heart like that. but...

probably this is something i will keep within me. only one person knows about the exact reason why.

nothing much. just wanna find a outlet to vent. probably more than i should.

oh well.

life goes on.

wen|ong @ 1:46 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.