Thursday, June 30, 2005

these days have been whirlwind crazy, sexy, sweety, lovey, dovey, messy!

hopefully for once, everything will fall nicely for me.

it can't rain all the time.











will keep you guys posted... *winks*

wen|ong @ 1:59 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Monday, June 27, 2005

right ... here i am again, dropping an entry while intoxicated. there ought to be some restriction about it.. not that i would write anything i wouldnt normally write, jus that thoughts and feelings flow more freely, no holds barred.

here we go~ had a nice weekend, with the EX. its her bday today, erm, oh well, yesterday now (26th). if you can believe it, i celebrated it with her on sat (25th) goin thru the countdown thingy at 12am. it may seem pretty run-of-the-mill, just that if you guys read the prev posts, she's attached. well, i did not chose to purposely do it, cos i thought her bf would book her solid throughout the weekend. but funny enough, he opt to celebrate with her on Sunday, givin me chance? oh well. then i'll gladly take it dude.

and we did have a good time. almost like bf/gf. but wake up Long, u relationship wrecker!

sighzation~ i just dunno. im agnostic, but i believe in karma. what goes around, comes around. sometimes i feel that fate is playing with me. while he/she smirking at me while my lovelife goes helter skelter. what have i done wrong?! either the person is married or attached. god damnit. i cant do anything right. feel like just scream at the top of my lungs at the edge of some mountain cliff.

i need a vacation.

i need beer.

oops, just had a jug with beng at cuppage.

*burp*

wen|ong @ 2:56 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

heya, got bitten by the writing bug, and here i go again. not really very diligent in dropping entries these days if you people been dropping by, and i know there is people who read this lo! i cant manage 295 views all by myself eh?! so to those annonymous readers, show yaself!!!

wahaha... alright, ive mentioned the movie Closer and the hauntingly gorgeous theme song ive been enchanted under its spell. just gotta make more of the storyline, thought i was pretty brief in the previous post. and i still dunno the name of the English bloke, haha. actually saw someone's blog talking about this too, which probably inspired me to talk more about it. the opening to the movie is pretty surreal? with Jude (yea, we're on a first name basis now) walking on one side of the street in the midst of a lot of people, and i mean ALOT, probably what we get on Orchard Road during Xmas Eve + NYE - and Natalie on the other end of street, both walking in converging directions with LOTSA people around. and whilst they were both walking nearer, Jude got sight of Nat and started bio-ing her, ogled, stared, whatever - and when both are seperated by a traffic stop, Nat crossed it without looking left or right, then a car screeched by and hit her mildly, follow by which our Jude gallantly went to her with a very kpo crowd watching them (dunno that we share the same kpo traits as the Brits, =p) followed by which our very eye catching red headed Nat, opened her eyes and purred : "Hello, Stranger."

therein started a tumultuous passionate relationship intertwined with betrayal, reconcillation and betrayal yet again. i like the movie... though my regular movie kaki, bin, who watched it with her friends said its so-so only. bleh.

right... now im over gushing about Natalie and the movie, time to be self indulgent (sorry folks, you can stop reading after this if you are not interested in the constant bitter ironical comedic failings of my life) haha~~~

im wordy, i'll try to make is simple and sweet for you (point form sia la!)discerning readers as i blazing over the keyboard of my laptop in pitch darkness (ermmm, not exactly, less the distant table lamp across the room) of my sanctuary, my room laaa~

1. got really stupid, bought something ex for a girl awhile back, and she also stupidly accept it knowing the "weight" of the gift. so 2 fools cant be right. shaken up by two stereo speakers complimenting each other outside KFC@FEP last sat. got it back the day after. thanks beng + pat.

2. think i pissed off pat's bf? well, he's a nice guy and all that. but he's irritatingly nice and too brotherly for my liking i suppose? i mean, i dont like people nagging me but moreover he's a guy for chrissakes?! appreciate the kindness, but i suppose the line is thin between being concerned and being extra? peace. =p

3. got myself a new buddy, my xiaomei! been out with her and her friends the previous weekends, seems like i have no problems settling in with 20 year olds... gosh, either that makes me juvenile or they are as mature as me. i like to think its the earlier.

4. regained contact with my ex gf. who's still attached. albeit shaky. texted her at thumper when i got high. suprisingly the message doesnt have any typos and with perfect punctuation somemore when i checked it the next morning. everything's pretty messed up at the moment, and i know im probably being the arsehole for popping up in her life. that does not necessary means i have a chance i suppose. i just dunno la.


Timeout

in the midst of reading the book Sideways read this part about DND - Drink N Dial. guess its a common syndrome among people who drink till a certain degree of highness. after which you go and dial/msg the person you wanted to be with you to share your joy, to be by your side, to hear some muffled and incoherent drunk talking, usually EXs, or crushes, or someone to F***. but knowing in real life, you wont call the other person no matter what. alcohol has a way of making people say the most truthful things, no holds barred, gives you the courage to do things you wont do usually. so i say - Drinking is good!


right... remember my post about giving up the whole relationship shebang. its bullshit. =)

wen|ong @ 9:19 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

guess im back here not long after i've dropped my last entry a couple of days back. having insomnia these few weeks, just can't sleep even when im feeling tired and my mind telling me i go lay on my bed. well, just to lie on the bed, then my mind would spin. yesh spin. thoughts would swirl and revolve in a imaginary twister and i could barely slip into slumber.

set my iPod on sleep mode of 10mins and repeating the same song which is currently Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter. yea, the song title would give you a typical reaction of "huh?", first heard the song off the movie Closer starring Natalie Portman *swoons*, Jude Law, Julia Robert and another English fella whose name slipped my mind. the song is relatively simple in its lyrics with the verse : I can't take my eyes off you (NO, its not that eardrums-gnawing Carlsberg ad jingle) refraining over and over. but the way the singer sang it. you could feel the sadness, the tinge of bitterness, the yearning and wanting - at least its my intepretation. haha. its a quirk of mine to sleep in total darkness and silence. i'll only doze off to music when im dead tired. so its not my intention to sleep to that song... just to grasp the feelings he's transpiring.

back to the movie, didnt catch it when its showing in the theatres cos my movie kakis either weren't available or caught it already. well, i missed out alot of shows due to that. i havent caught Madagascar when i suppose the whole world have watched it, probably that's an exaggeration, just the whole Singapore perhaps? whatever. its a show of betrayal, acceptance, then betrayal. basically, i like it. thanks to fab for the dvd who knew i would like it. the story is actually so-so just that the strength of the acting carried it through. decided my next gf would be Natalie Portman and no one else. wahaha. alright - this IS an exaggeration. but her acting really blew me away, totally different and much much better from the placid Queen Amidala/Padme in Star Wars Epi III.

right, the momentum is dying, probably end here. but that's not a guarantee i would fall asleep after this, maybe more turning tossing flipping flopping, more thinking imagining pondering floundering.

nitez people. hope you all cant sleep too. *grinz*

wen|ong @ 3:03 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

havent been updating this for awhile, perhaps too much is goin on in my life? probably more could be known by reading my xiaomei's blog. besides the family thingy, which i also share the same contempt for the same person, i also found out more about my lil sis. having alot on her mind these days 'bout matters of the heart. realise that though not polished, her writings/poems are and simple, yet conveyed the hurt and confusion in the raw and truthful ways you can. realised that she puts on another personna when with me and my mum and da mei while probably she's torn up inside. which i do that often too. we probably can mask our feelings well while putting up another facade infront of people easily. dont wanna publish her blog entries here, but you could probably take a look in my links if you are interested. end point, she's my lil sis and i do care much about her, esp not wanting to get hurt badly in r/ships, but i suppose its pretty out of my reach, just hope to support her in anyway i can.

time to project the spotlight on me. dont feel like saying much as i feel that the past is meaningless. what you have is NOW. and now, i only have myself. i will try the break the chains of yesterday. it may cause me much pain, but i know that, i have to move on. she will not be mine, no matter how optimistic i wanna become that somewhere the sliver lining may be just behind the overcasting clouds, its useless. that things will remain what they are and i still end up being the loser.

she may be reading this i suppose. i cant take this kind of life. one week of lovey dovey, the other week wherby nothing is heard. im selfish. im possesive. im easily jealous. its tearing me apart just by thinking that she's with someone else. perhaps, it has come to the point where i just want to lay my weary self and not think of anything else.

besides the old story, i've tried to start a new chapter, it may be a blessing or a curse, i've failed miserably and ended up became a fool yet again. and also, recently i've also started missing my ex gf of 2 years back, with the hope that she has matured during that time and despite the fact she's in a relationship which is goin strong i sincerely hope. guess my luck in love is that bad huh? i think im just a pathetic confused guy, wanting to seek failure while i know there are safer choices around, maybe my nature to play with fire is still there, and maybe i'm not mature as i thought i would be at this age. but i do know that i want to find the ONE, settling down. i dont mean getting married and stuff like that, but you know what i mean ya? with all this in mind, the self conflicting thoughts, hence, i've resolved to stay out of it. the whole relationships thing. period.

i'm disenchanted. yea, that's the word to describe me, together with melancholia, nonchalance ...

probably my life after ORD-ing is more important currently. whatever the future may bring, i wouldnt close my doors to anyone, just that i'm pretty sick of everything now. i need space. to breath. to ponder. to sleep.

before i go, and i want to leave on a bright note, dunno when will i have the "ya xing" to drop an entry again, i have to say thanks to my best mate and buddy, siwei. for knocking some sense into me together with the usual bitching session which we hardly had since his involvement in saf/ndp parades during a coffee session in the noon. realised that he do understand me very well. awwwwww, im getting misty here, ya right biatch, you wish~ hahaha. and please send me a copy of july's maxim, *winks* thanks! =p

wen|ong @ 2:35 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.