Friday, April 30, 2004

When I Fall In Love
by Nat King Cole

When I fall in love,
It will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love.
In a restless world like this is,
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.

When I give my heart,
It will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart.
And the moment I can feel that
You feel that way, too,
Is when I fall in love with you.

When I give my heart,
It will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart.
And the moment I can feel that
You feel that way, too,
Is when I fall in love with you.


:: have always loved this song, such a classic, yet some people have not heard of it? sad. but worse still, someone got misunderstood because of this song. well, hope this entry will clear up something. =) ::

p.s: i will be labouring on Labour Day. zZzzz. siGhz~ =p

wen|ong @ 8:09 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

:: what of love and what of hate ::

must have gone thru a few drafts before i could really let the words flow for this entry. lots of things i want to say. but when transposed to words, the effect might, say different? i wanted to change this aspect of me. holding things back. im tryin my best to do that. but i came to the decision where i deem that the things im holdin back perhaps may be better in this situation. really. i would more than welcome to explain why here. but i dont want to come to a point where i based my entries on yours. to clarify and elaborate, to state my point of view. somethings i do wish to tell u about. maybe not in here. i wont want u readin about it here and form your own opionion of it which may not be the message i want to convey. i rather i tell u and explain to u if u misunderstood me.

i admit i do have a fairytale-like notion of what my true love would be. of course in a rship, it cant be perfect, they will be some fights and quarrels, most important thing is to be able to get over them, come out of it with a better understanding of ur other half, BUT, if there's always a repetitive of the same fights and quarrels, cracks may form in the rship, and most likely, it will not last? saddest thing is when u are in a rship and suddenly u realize that u dont love the person as much already, it has somehow became a habit, an obligation to be with him, and that ure the sort that wont leave a person jus like that. even u wanna let go, he wouldnt allow u to go just like that. in a rship, constant evolution of the 2 person is evitable, but surely one cant really change into someone who he/she is not in the first place. if a person likes someone, it MUST be for who he/she is, and not change/mould that person into a pre-conceived ideal perfect dream lover? if that person does change drastically to someone whom his/her gf/bf wants, perhaps it is out of love i guess, but still, in the end, it does seems kinda sad to change urself to suit a person, to lose urself, makes u wonder that u can jus find anyone to be with and then transform them to wat u want them to be..

but love transcends all boundaries, i may rant and rave about the above but i cant guarantee i wont lose my individualism for a special someone also too. in the first place, there must be qualities which attracted u to like someone, and these are the things u wont change at all. it is for that, u fall in love helplessly. that u wan to be wif her for as long as u could be, with that, if two person really in love, perhaps, there wouldn't be so many ups and downs, tears and pain, every adverse situations can be pulled through. it may be difficult, but with love i guess, it kinda make u think less of that and more of the person next to you.

if i can jus like someone, his/her may not be my type/ breed initially, but i can change her/him to suit my liking, does it sounds, ermm .. funny? perhaps i phrase it this way, u might understand me? or not? ermm.. then i have to tell u personally le.

hey, i dont seek a dream lover, a perfect manifestation of what i desired and want in a gf. i jus want to find someone whom i love her for who she is and vice versa. if thats the basis of the rship, i really cant see anything can go wrong for them. nothing too difficult to ask for? but i cannot get? lolz.

p.s: i have not withdrawn ya. u dont scare me off that easily. =)

wen|ong @ 11:58 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

For Her

Her voice resonates
Deep into my consciousness.
Airy but earnest,
seemingly seeking a listening ear,
a shelter.
To ward off her fears
and insecurities.
To bring warmth to her
Heart,
by now, disenchanted
and tired.
If not bounded,
she would let herself
Fall
and set adrift
on memory bliss of me.

copyright © 2004 by november9th.


:: was twistin' and turnin' on my bed, wanted to write something for her. haven't been inspired to write something for someone for the longest time. now, back to sleep~ =p ::

wen|ong @ 2:39 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Friday, April 23, 2004

:: the frailities and vulnerabilities of friendship ::

how u measure the value of friendship? time? compatibility? common interests?
i guess most of the time, when u are asked about a certain friend of yours, u would say: "i know so and so for XX years, we go together frequently and do alot of stuff together."

true. but often. how well do u know ur fren? as in sure, u know whats he's like, how well he treats his friend, gf and pple all around. BUT to know that friend as in understand him /her completely? well, most guys i guess (including me) dont know their friends THAT well? its all on the surface i suppose. with time, of cos u do get to know someone somewhat better, but to know someone's innermost feelings. its hard i suppose?

maybe certain friends can do that. as in close buddies. i dont deny that. but then if u circle of friends consists of a few more people. perhaps chances of knowing someone that well is kinda limited? hee.

few factors can really test friendship. a main factor for guys is girls. typical huh? girls .. i dunno. have to hear from u all ba. have heard alot before, movies, tv too.. oh, jus saw a sort of short movie on channel 5, about stella huang and her bf and his buddy since primary school. lot of stuff goin on, but, end point, she cheated on her bf for his best friend, causing him and his bf to got into a fight and subsequently end their endship. heee.. classic example ya? but then i guess its drawn from everyday lifes ba. it does happened.

dont wanna say that much. but i got involved in something like that? well .. was nt really affected. cos firstly, i know the friend for awhile and he, when emotionally affected, will say some stuff that he doesnt really mean it?(another point of view is that these thoughts are always present just that normally u dont blurt it out unless u damn drunk or emotionally charged) secondly, truth is maybe i dont really feel that close to him. ya. good frens is good frens. but when it comes to matters close to ur heart. different thing ba.. so im OK. hee. i pretty aloof to these kind of things now. cos of age? or a realised sensibility i suppose after what has happened.

thru that .. i got to understand 2 person in a certain depth i guess. funny its only in this kind of situation u kinda get to know them better. cos ure not involved in their conversation at all, and i think the common notion is that thru a conversation with someone, then u get know them better. hee. my view anyways.

oh well. suan le ba~

p.s : hows that for my long-o-theory. keke.


Friday I'm In Love
by The Cure

i don't care if monday's blue
tuesday's grey and wednesday too
thursday i don't care about you
it's friday i'm in love

monday you can fall apart
tuesday wednesday break my heart
thursday doesn't even start
it's friday i'm in love

saturday wait
and sunday always comes too late
but friday never hesitate...

i don't care if mondays black
tuesday wednesday heart attack
thursday never looking back
it's friday i'm in love

monday you can hold your head
tuesday wednesday stay in bed
or thursday watch the walls instead
it's friday i'm in love

saturday wait
and sunday always comes too late
but friday never hesitate...

dressed up to the eyes
it's a wonderful surprise
to see your shoes and your spirits rise
throwing out your frown
and just smiling at the sound
and as sleek as a shriek
spinning round and round
always take a big bite
it's such a gorgeous sight
to see you eat in the middle of the night
you can never get enough
enough of this stuff
it's friday
i'm in love

wen|ong @ 10:31 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

:: whiny wednesday ::

had a bad start to the day tho'. failed my IPPT. kelong. some pple ran 5 rnds instead of 6. the upright yours truly chose to ran the whole thing. well, least im nt cheating myself? *sour grapes* oh well. lotsa details, but dont feel like brooding much on that. *must train* grrrrr...

well, first sms of the day.. kinda expect a good morning, have a nice day type of msg. well, i got one tellin me to undid the thing i did the prev day. cant say i was much cheery about that. jus that the thing was wat i wanted to do for her. although i wont do undo it. but... haiz.

and regarding the prev night sms. i can assure u im not doin what u assume im doin ya. its up to u to believe me or not. =)

well, my work ended @ 3pm, went back wif chris, my shipmate and also my polymate, again to reiterate the fact that sg is that small. was tellin him that the day b4, my frens were discussing about goin away to bangkok next weekend, he then told me he got an uncle whos workin as a ticketing manager in a tour agency, SIA havin offer of $250 per ticket, catch is, u have to be in 4's .. immediately msg hongsen and ah lu ask them to confirm, but that si ah lu became pilot, sayin his schedule has been changed, and cant make it (damn, and hes the organiser) oh well, so tentatively, nw only gt me and hongsen .. left 2 more. any takers?

hee.



wen|ong @ 7:32 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

:: retrospective ::

boy did i slept late last night. after the prev entry, went to watch Arsenal vs Leeds. gunners won 5 - 0. at least something for me to cheer about. after which, around 4am. i didnt want to sleep early cos i know my mind will flooded with thoughts. so i went to watch dvd. chose Punch Drunk Love starring Adam Sandler and Emily Watson.

- sypnosis -

barry egan is a socially impaired owner of a novelty business, who is dominated by 7 sisters and is unlikely to find love unless it finds him. when a mysterious woman comes into his life, his emotions goes haywire, fluctuating between uncontrollable rage, lust and self-doubt.
"PUNCH DRUNK LOVE" leaves u addled, a little dizzy and overcome by a pleasing, unplaceable sensation...",
"a romantic comedy as wonderful as it is strange that expands the genre to its absurdist outer limits and makes us believe...",
from the writer/ director of boogie nights and magnolia, PUNCH DRUNK LOVE is a dark, lovely and unique film experience.

my comments, nice film, i am a sucker for quirky movies. camera work was good, kinda transporting u into the movie itself. the leads esp sandler was pretty convincing as a person with psychiological problems. pretty funny when hes in rage. emily watson was cool, that english accent. keke. she provides a perfect foil for sandler. well, the show was ard 90mins. by the time it ended, i was pretty bushed.
had to sleep.

meeting bin tmw to pass her her super belated bday present. nt bcos i "bo sim" jus that i missed her bday cos of overseas deployment, and when i came back, she was busy wif her assignments.even tho im oh so tired, my mind was stil swirling with thoughts. really hit me hard in a way. im usually nt that emotional. hee. ermm. well, dunno hw, but i stil slipped into sweet slumber.

woke up at 11am due to bin's msg abt arrangin the time to meet her. was stil in a daze really. yesterday was a blur to me. cant really differentiate reality and dream for a moment. well. maybe i guess i leave it that way. jus chuck it away to the back of my mind. escapist. but if u were me, perhaps thats the most wisest choice? haiz.

met up wif bin. went for lunch at county manna. 2nd time there for my entire life. keke. had a light meal. jus the pastry soup and a baked fish main course. she decided to skip her class and we went to catch Into The Mirror, the timing nt that ideal, so we ended up watching The Passion Of The Christ. had glimpses of it onboard ship. so the impact of the show didnt hit me that hard. recommended show, even though im kinda like a big atheist. well, after that, we went jalan jalan then had a light dinner @ kfc (notice the light meals, im like normally a big eater, ha) went back after that. she stil had to go back hm do her assignment. glad for her company. even tho' she dont know anything, yet.

so thats it. im coping well i guess. life still goes on.

c'est la vie mon cherie.

wen|ong @ 10:50 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

:: sadden ::

mind running wild now, lotsa things to write down. dont know where to begin, it seems so surreal. how would u feel that the one u loved for the longest time told u she has got married. and that she also told u she loved u too, that your feelings was reciprocated, jus that its too late now cos of her status now? its things like that you wished u did something before, regretting what might have been, what might have happened if u keep persisting and not being doubtful of yourself and your capabilities to affect the other person. well, life certainly has a cruel sense of humour? i was NOT given a choice, the fact was just thrown to my face, well, she was being hesitant in tellin me it anyways, i had to probe her to get the truth. at first i thought it was jus being attached, well definitely and absolutely NOT married? the blow was swiftly struck at me, it was moments before the situation sank into my by now concussed mind, the phrase "cuts like a knife" certainly meant something. not really cut, more to stabbing into your heart and twisting the blade so that u feel nothing at first but the most excruciating and exquisite pain moments later. its not the first time i felt that for her, but its the feelin of helplessness that caught me. commonphrase among guys is that if the girl is woo-able unless she's married, well, i normally dont think to much of those stuff, but, nw she is. talk about irony. she HAD a choice. i dont really know what made her did the thing she did. some reasons she was unwilling to say. but still, kudos to her sister, thanks for the knife in the back, didnt i had it till she told me that her sister read something about my testimonial and had to interpret my fren's words LITERALLY and later told her that im a flirt or something. really much thanks sis~ sighz, thus planted the seeds of mistrust. shes so naive or trusting in her own way, and she believed her sis. well, i can blame her for not trusting me, for not reading the testimonial wif her own eyes instead takin her sister words, for not calling me up and interrogate me, for not telling me what she had always felt. but i just can't find it in my heart to do that. its jus been around a month since i've called her. she thought i was blowin hot and cold. she made her choice to get married to a guy she dont love. she said she didnt had much choice due to some reasons she wont made known to me. she cried when tellin me this. for tellin me she loved me. finally revealing what she really felt. she asked me why i laugh whenever i say something serious, i told her its nervous laughter. i dont show my feelings easily. i asked her how come she didnt told me wat she felt. i told her i got mixed feelings. i thought she dont have feelings for me. i called her less. i thought a overseas trip could let me gradually forget her. hard letting go of someone who has always resided in ur heart for the longest time. i thought i could until the phone rang. its always true. the movies the tv programs. u only treasure things/pple around u only when they are lost. she said she wanted badly to be a runaway bride. she added she didnt have the courage. i told her u only live once, dont let urself be miserable. lead the life u want, be happy, to love and to be loved by the one u love. i told her not to ever mistrust or doubt me again. i told her to be honest and truthful of her feelings and not to keep it inside. i told her much heartache brought by reminiscing. but i told her i'm only left with memories. so let me do it. she wants me to promise to remember her even when im attached or married. i told her hw could i forgot someone who broke my heart so many times. never before heard her so sad. never before heard her cry. for me. she continued even though she was not feelin well. i told her to take her medicine and go to sleep, she's workin tmw. we ended the phone conversation.

im pouring everything out here. bursting with thoughts and feelings. my spontaneous prose. my perfect misery. my sadness.

但愿有情人总成熟建属 - dan yuan you qing ren zong chen jian shu - may those in love be blissfully together

[dunno if my chinese for this is correct, someone help. thanx.]

wen|ong @ 2:18 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

大出血- vomit blood (for those who cant read chinese on their comp) =p

today knocked out quite early. cos ship went upslip. *yay* which means workin hrs will be from 9am to 3pm. but today went off at around 10 plus .. went to few places today, bras basah first, then peninsula, then queensway..
:: bras basah :: my chief ais gave us a lift, brought me and seng (whose also interested in starting) to see some discus fish (nice, but im nt too into fish? dogs, cats i like, fish... nt really. hee.) before takin us the BB, he wanted to collect his Jigong wood carving (quite ex, i think i heard him said. the extravagance of navy guys. ha.) sadly the shop is not opened.. went to mac to get a bite then decided to go peninsula get the bball jerseys

:: peninsula :: collected our bball jerseys after some confusion, the guy i called yday was nt there, and the auntie didnt know where he kept it. after gettin it, we have to check the sizes we want and wat they have. end up we still short of some shorts, have to go dwn to QW to get, cos we saw them the last time we were there. before leavin, went to look @ guitars @ davis, had my eye on this, (ok, i get u ur ILU, u get me this? please? lolz).
:: queensway :: the main place of today's excursion. got the shorts alright, also spent 29 on a cd (Marty Friedman's Scenes, which i intended to order thru the net, also discover that the cd shop sells alot of my genres of music which i like, which gives me more options than Roxy or CdUniverse, ha) then went to limited edt, a shop which sells limited edition (duhz) shoes, and adidas originals shoes and clothes (which i love very much), which led to me buyin a nice pair of shoes (wil post it up once i gt my ir port back from seng) and a holland retro top, which looks something like this. nice ya? lolz? must comfort me.. spent so much. keke.

wen|ong @ 10:35 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

alrightey, gotta make this entry a short and sweet one. am feelin bushed nw.. yet, stil waiting for her phone to become available, yawnnzzz. wat to do.. wait lorz. lolz.

work was ok. (be expected to hear this alot, i dont normally like to talk about my job one.. nt that i dont like it, well maybe i do, but but, well, its jus i jus cant be bothered sometimes? oh well. =p)

went to queensway wif ah seng, fabian and teng to look @ jerseys and also soccer boots. been playin soccer for so damn long, yet, i dont own a pair. finally i gt one, which looks like this, only the studs are different nike total 90 in gray/slivery color .. well, wil post the pic if poss. also bought a reversible (navy/white) bball jersey, planning to make it as a unofficial ship jersey.. we'll see hw, planned to get it printed wif numbers and chinese characters for the name. have to get the sizes of the others and have their chinese names written dwn too..

yea .. i sure do blabber once i get goin, nt really that short or that sweet? hahah .. ermmm .. well, my mind blankin out soon .. gotta stop here.

be back soon ~

wen|ong @ 12:48 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

ok, here it goes, my first real post, besides the test thingys which dont think anyone saw anyways, well, its been a long day, creating this, credits to those whose blogs i took some inspiration from. hee, been snooping around other pple's blog for so long, nw that ive started my own, *applause* kinda glad.
remember bin's first comment was "exhibitionist" keke, well, nt really i suppose (attempt covering up) jus that i need an outlet to realise my poet's soul. haha. hw's that? =p
oh well, guess that's it for a maiden post? yawnzzz .. need a caffeine fix~

p.s : thanx to pei for the finishing touches. *winks*

wen|ong @ 12:27 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.