Thursday, September 16, 2004

:: lost and found ::

finally managed to plonked myself infront of my laptop to drop this entry. boy, how time flies. its been a month that fast huh? u might say that, but within this month, i supposed some stuff happened, (more of that to follow later... ) although mostly cooped up in my ship during the period, i did had time ashore at surabaya, darwin and bali. perhaps it would be easier to break them down seperately. here it goes :

surabaya

2nd largest city in Indonesia, for those unaware. pretty much ado about nothing there, had only 1 day there. there was a huge shoppin centre (slightly smaller than ngee ann city) which we hung out the whole day. didnt bought anything much, just some PS2 games.

darwin

northern tip of australia, love the weather yea.. albeit its hot at night, but its nt as humid as singapore and the nights are so cool~ almost air-con like~ life there is pretty much slow paced as compared to the hustle and bustle of sunny singapore. main attraction (not for me tho') is the casino at night, not much of a nightlife there, only some pubs/discos around. there's a shoppin centre which closes around 6-ish. but that's like the only place to really buy stuff. got a few music dvds which u cant find in singapore. and some gifts for frens.

bali

this is definitely the hightlight of the trip, perhaps its a R & R port for us cos the exercises are done and over with. how i love the beach, albeit its an irony i didnt spent much time at there. most time were spent shoppin, shoppin and more shoppin, pretty much scared away my normal group of frens, cos me and 2 others would really spent time in a shop if it carries certain brands, namely, Stussy, Quiksliver, Roxy. yea, brand-whores we are, bite me. lolz. bali is definitely a haven for surfwear. its much cheaper than singapore (when last checked after we came back, almost 2 times!) part of the reason that bali holds dear to my heart is that 2 years ago, the same trip, because we went back ship late due to the taxi driver who took us to the opp side of the wharf, and ended up havin the next shore leave taken away. didnt see much of bali then, and also didnt bought much stuff too. this time, heh, think i spent way much 2 years ago, considered that i didnt really patron Hard Rock (damn expensive stuff there, but pple stil buy them) much, less a t-shirt and a teddy bear. so the whole bali trip is ike buyin with a vengeance this time round. haha.

alright.. that pretty much covers my one month sailing. although i omitted some details, due to laziness/sleepiness. if u are that interested - i will be more than willin to tell, just not type. now.

yea... i mentioned somewhere above that some stuff happened during my absence, well, maybe NOT alot.. but it has struck me deep. though it might seem not much of a big deal, will maybe write about it in the next entry.. anyways, the title of this entry refers to me findin myself after this one month's journey together with the incident. ive lost myself for quite long already, did some retrospective thinking throughout the trip, it has straighten some issues/knots of the heart. hopefully things will look up for me in the aspect, have really no luck with love... damn.

oh well, i am a big believer of fate.. have a lot of faith in fate. one of my mantra have always been - if its yours, its yours. if its not yours, even how much u fight for it, it wont belong to you. heh. stereotypical of Scorpios.

oh well, life goes on, with or without me.


wen|ong @ 11:58 AM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Monday, September 13, 2004

inside

silence deafening my senses
in darkness i seek my solace
shhh
shush my love
dont say a word
it will only deepen the hurt
cold blade twisted
plunged deep
into my heart.
and i smiled a little smile to you

lemme fade into the darkness!
lemme cry in the dark!
lemme scream deep inside!
no one really understand
and i can only just pretend
and i smiled a little smile to you

incapacitated
to express myself
intoxicated
to numb myself
a ironic wink
and i smiled a little smile to you.

as i lay here bleedin'
from the wounds of love
do not show pity or sympathy
just smile a little smile to me

and leave me be.

copyright © 2004 by november9th.

wen|ong @ 11:54 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.

Friday, September 10, 2004

... as fatigue overcomes

been meaning to drop an entry when i came back last monday, wrote some stuff about my trip and some thoughts and feelings about some stuff, can't really finished that entry up, so while im stuck there, i'd figured i'll drop this instead,

feelin slightly disenchanted really, about being chirpy and cheery while inside, im all messed up. read before somewhere in someone's blog about being a cryin' clown, similar sentiments arise, yea, i'd always tried to cheer pple around me who are down by being somewhat of a clown, but i'd realised that when all the dust is cleared and settled, i kinda feel that emptiness inside of me, can't really explain what it is, its kinda like a downward spiral leavin me spinning helplessly into a chasm. sighz~ well, fear not, i'll always cast away these negative thoughts if need be. i just need my space. and i have lots of it. just need someone, somehow, somewhere to share. to pour out what i've bottled inside of me, to just lay my weary body and let me drift -

far far away, away from it all~

brb.

wen|ong @ 6:28 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.