Sunday, June 13, 2004

:: can you be friends with an ex? ::

yea, the title is a rip-off from an epi in SatC.

met up with my ex yesterday. could tell u that where we went to, what did we did, but i figure that it'll be kinda blah and pretty much pointless, eh? i rather talk about what i thought about it?

well, this ex girlfriend of mine, knew each other awhile back, around 5 years plus i suppose. was together around 2-3years back which lasted roughly for a year. well, a astute eye would probably be wondering about all the rough dates i've given. i suppose that if im very serious about that relationship, i would have at least given the exact date and timelines?

truth is, i've been a total bastard to her before and tho' she's not an entirely an angel, but i guess im the cause of that too. perhaps i was young that i didnt know how to handle [or just creating an excuse for myself to acquit me of any wrong], i 2-timed her. yea. what a SOB. i know. so in the end i confessed to her and i made her cry. damn, what an arsehole. yesh. i am fully aware of that.

that was the past, and i had to live with it. let it be a lesson learnt, and don't ever repeat the same mistake again. at least, that's what i tell myself.

yea, enough of the self-indulgence, well, so she called me up recently and wanted to meet me, and so we met yesterday. my sisters was quite astounded to say the least, making a few jibes also, cos their dear brother would normally be at home on weekends with no dates. yea... >.<"

part of the reason i dont feel i can really fall for her is that i dont really feel at ease with her. in fact, the level of comfort is quite discomforting [for lack of a better word]. and certain aspects of her character quite turn me off i can say? i dont care how pretty u are, how many looks u attract. but if your character "suck" [damn i hate that word, but i can't think of a better one at the moment], sorry baby.

im not perfect either, nor an egoist, but i think that a person should at least have some social graces, and to mind their 'p's and 'q's [e.g handling sales staff]. i've this certain quirk i suppose. that i always people in a positive manner i can. unless they show me attitude then its different i guess. but then if they are all smiley and friendly, i'll always do the same too. but i notice that not everyone do that, some people are like so snobbish when talkin to salespersons and treat them like people of inferior standing to them. so bloody 'hao lian' [for lack of a better word, again] can't stand them. absolutely detest them. i can't be stereotypical and lump them as spoilt rich brats, cos even those mid-income people do that. deriving from experience, yea, was in sales last time, and i pretty enjoyed it, less the above mentioned dealings with those undesired customers.

in keepin line with the topic, when i was out with her, frankly, sparks did not fly, or re-ignite for that matter. im not repressing my feelings but then quite simply, the feelings i used to have are gone. and i feel that although we can stil go out and be friends, but to me, its kinda bullshitting, cos u can't really but friends with your exs, can you? even the split is amicable or time has healed previous wounds, but then to see each other and then NOT be talk/reminded of the past, that is so never goin to be gone with the wind.

well. not really finding fault with her or anything like that. jus that i cannot forsee myself together for a long time with that kind of person without that getting on my nerves. and oh ya, i also forsee me in my mid 30s, single and still that picky~

*gulps* scary.

lolz.


wen|ong @ 1:22 PM
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say 'Good night' till it be morrow.